Despite the fact that he and I share a nationality (well, he's only half Bengali), I want to see him keep humiliating himself on national television with his obnoxious mouth that can't even sing anymore. That girl was an obvious plant.
The only reason people still vote for him is because it would be funny to see him win. American Idol already lost its firepower, and it's obvious that the show is just another one of those reality shows that make big bucks by humiliating people on television.
If you don't believe me, just look at how much time they spend showing you all the bad singers. They even released a DVD showing the worst of the worst auditions! if they cared more about good singers than about getting high ratings, they wouldn't even show so many of the bad ones!
You know what, America? Keep watching American Idol and voting for vocal nightmares like Sanjaya. At this point, I just want to see him win and expose the show for the joke that it is.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer, by one student, was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has just revealed that he was having an extramarital affair while President Clinton's impeachment hearings were going on. Way to go, Newt. While the Clinton impeachment was keeping you busy, you were getting busy with a mistress of your own.
I wonder what the Republicans have to say about this? Probably nothing, as usual. They get all excited whenever the awful, God-hating, socialism-loving liberals do something wrong. On the other hand, their kind can do whatever they want without any repercussions. Does that sound fair to you?
Maybe that's why he's still appearing for commentaries.
I think all the potential fathers of Anna Nicole Smith's baby should get together on the Maury show and have a DNA test. That would solve everything. The trial would go a lot smoother if they actually did a paternity test to figure out who's the father instead of arguing about it on national television. I'm absolutely confident that Maury Povich can solve this issue better than anyone.
So who are the candidates?
1. Larry Birkhead
Could Larry be the father? I don't know, but this is what Wikipedia had to say about it: Birkhead was Smith's ex-boyfriend and is a freelance entertainment reporter/photographer in Los Angeles, California.When the question came up, Birkhead denied receiving money for media interviews, though he has received royalties for archived pictures he took of Smith.
According to Birkhead on February 21, 2007 while on the stand, he and Smith lived together from August 2004 to April 2005 – and in January 2005 Smith told him she was pregnant, but a month later lost the baby. Smith's former friend Laurie Payne in sealed court documents filed November 2, 2006, said Smith was pregnant with another one of Birkhead's children before Dannielynn, but she miscarried.
He took pictures of a whore and got royalties from him. And he fathered a miscarriage. Does that make him the father? Hell no! I just can't picture why Larry would have sex with something so disgusting. But whatever. I wonder who's next?
2. Howard Stern
Howard was her lawyer and his name was on the girl's birth certificate. That sounds like proof to me. So why isn't it? By the way, Anna Nicole's relationship with a world-famous talk radio star didn't exactly improve her "gold digger" label.
3. Mark Hatten
EWWWWWWWW!!!! Is this the most disgusting picture or what? I quote Wikipedia again:
Hatten was another of Smith's former boyfriend of two years. He is serving a seven year eight month sentence in Pleasant Valley State Prison for making terrorist threats to Smith and was up for parole on December 24, 2007. Hatten's sister Jackie confirmed that Hatten gave Smith a sperm donation the time they dated prior to his incarceration. Hatten has also corresponded from prison about Smith with her mother, the entertainment news show Extra, and the online tabloid magazine TMZ.com signing his letters Mark "Hollywood" Hatten. In his November 2006 correspondence with Extra, Hatten vowed that he would officially drop the Marshall v. Marshall case because it had "ruined the lives" of Smith and her son. Hatten also claimed in his correspondence to Extra and TMZ.com that Smith miscarried two of his children in 2000 and 2001.
He has also came forward to claim paternity of the baby. Other sources: Hatten's sister also said that her brother cannot be believed. Hatten's attorney Paul Fegen told Extra they plan to file a paternity claim.
....
Wow. Just how promiscuous is this woman? And why didn't she die from STD's instead? She must've had at least 20 of them.
4. Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt
Prince Frederick is Zsa Zsa Gabor's ninth (and longest-lasting) husband. He supposedly had an affair with Anna Nicole for a few years, so he could potentially be the father of her baby. Is this guy for real? I mean, I think that if I was married to a 90 year old miss congeniality, I would also cheat on her and routinely have sex with someone who isn't even half as fossilized as she is. But come on! Anna Nicole Smith? ANNA NICOLE SMITH!? Why, when his brother Marcus Prinz von Anhalt (actually, he's not his brother; he just bought the surname from him so he could profit from the fame) even runs a brothel? If he gave his name to his "brother," then he should have unlimited access to his brother's whores. Am I right, or am I right?
Somehow, he got people to believe (well, except me...) that he had a relationship with Anna Nicole Smith and fathered her baby Dannielynn. He supposedly also took three lie detector tests on the subject and passed all of them. Lie detector tests are bullshit and everyone knows that. Somebody should tell Penn & Teller to make an episode about how easy it is to cheat the lie detector test. Hey Penn! LIE DETECTOR TESTS ARE BULLSHIT! I hope Penn Jillette actually reads this and follows my advice. But anyway, that statement also came from Prince Frederick's lawyer. Lawyer is synonymous with liar. Lawyers get paid to lie. Plain and simple.
He's not the father. Moving on.
5. Alexander Denk
Is this the guy? I don't even know anymore. If there's no picture on Wikipedia, I'm totally lost. Anna's Austrian actor of a bodyguard also had a lot of sex with her. He said Anna wanted to have a baby with him. How many babies did Anna Nicole Smith want to have anyway? This is just plain ridiculous.
You know what? I give up. I'm not writing anymore. I'm sick of hearing about Anna. I'm glad she's dead. Now can we PLEASE have this DNA test released and get it over with?
